Sunday, August 19, 2007

God's Voice Mail

I wish I knew who to attribute this to, because I think it is very funny. It was in the bulletin of the Cathedral of St. Francis of Assisi in Metuchen, New Jersey this weekend.

If God Installed Voice Mail...

When praying you would hear this: "Thank you for calling My Father's House. Press 1 for Requests, press 2 for Thanksgiving, press 3 for complaints, press 4 for All Other Inquires."

You might hear this excuse: "All of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now. Your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received, so please stay on the line."

You might reach a directory: "For Gabriel press 1, for Michael, press 2, for other angels, press 3, to hear King David sing a psalm while holding, press 4, to find out if a loved one has been assigned to heaven, press 5 and enter his/her social security number."

Or you might just get this message: "Our computers show that you have already prayed once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow. If you need emergency assistance with this office is closed, please contact your local pastor."

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